I ran across this

[Ebut]

It had been a while since i saw this an I came across it browing the internet today
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The Quon:

"Level 62 Cleric Looking for guild !
This is a general application for all guilds, it's just easier this way than for me to post on all guild sites.

I know I'll make a great contribution to your guild because I've been a great member of many other guilds. If those guilds weren't so irritating I would still be helping them.

I am not in school anymore so I have a lot of time to play EQ, around 8 to 10 hours a day is pretty normal for me. So, I'll be around to group with you anytime. Even more actually, because when I take a shower or eat, I let my little sister run my toon until I get back. So if she says anything dumb, or doesn't do what she is supposed to, don't blame me for it.. She is pretty good though, she can sit/stand, she knows how to cast spells and she usually doesn't run around, so she won't get lost.

I know tons about the game and am not shy about sharing the wealth, if you know what I mean. Even though I've never been an officer in any of the guilds i've been in, I like to think I was looked up to as a mentor even by people who were higher in levels then me! If you're not playing your class right, i'll be right there to tell you what you're doing wrong so that you can improve right away. It's kinda how I give back to the peeps I hunt with. Teach a man to fish and all that stuff. I'd hope they'd do the same for me if it were possible.

I've hunted in all the best spots Norrath has to offer. Oasis, Lake of Ill Omen, Overthere, Dreadlands, Maidens, etc., I've rocked them all. I've even ventured into a few dungeons like Karnor's Castle, Velks...crazy stuff.

Lately I've been blowing up in the Planes of Power. The Hedge in PoN is the bomb. Close to a zone out and everything. It gives you an idea of how I'm rolling that I can get all the way there from the GY to hunt there though eh?

I'm looking for a situation that will reward my leet skills, time, and knowledge. You know how every guild has an uber MA? He's the guy that gets first dibs on the pimp gear that drops so the guild can get better and stuff? Well I wanna be the MC (main Cleric). I wanna be the number 1 heal slinger in the guild's Cleric stable. To be the best though, I need a committment along the same lines as the MA deal. I want first call on the nice stuff that drops when we start bringing down the big mobs. This doesn't just apply to cleric wearable gear because if it's something for a Warrior I could sell it in the bazaar and use the pp's to buy something for me.

It only makes sense that the guild twink out the MC, without the Quan the group is nothing. So why wouldn't the guild give all it's resources over to help make sure they have the most uber healer in all of Norrath? duh!

There are a few other things that I would want this guild to do to show their respect for me. Not all at once you know, but within the first few weeks. I imagine it's hard to tell everyone in a big guild what to do and whatnot, so It's cool if it takes a little while for the whole guild to get into shape. I'll put a little checklist here for easy reference.

1) Tanks should NOT get pissed off when I am trying to get them into my "Purple Club". The Purple Club is where I try to take the MA's HitPoints so low that he actually goes unconscious and then is brought right back to life. I also sometimes refer to the Purple Club as "Layed Out" because that's what happens, the tank lays down and then stands right back up. It's friggin HARD to do, I have to time the Complete Heal just right. So, *** is up with tanks getting PO'd at me. I usually can do it about once every 11 tries or so.

2) If you have a problem with me DO NOT take it to guild chat or to the guild officers. Otherwise, I have to spend all my time trying to explain what happened and that doesn't do anyone any good. Just forget it and get back to grinding.

3) I already mentioned that I should get first call on nice drops, I just want to put it in this list for consistency and to stress the importance of the request.

4) Sometimes I have to leave a group or raid unexpectedly. Like when my mom gets on my case or some @#%$ like that. I DO NOT have the time to find a replacement for myself. Don't expect me to. Like you'd tolerate a gimp replacement anyway.

5) Enchanters, please chill on the "HEAL ME" spam when you are grouped with me. Your armor class suxxors, if there is a multi pull i have to use my DA (or Divine Aura if you didn't know) so that I don't die. I CANNOT cast heal until DA wears off so please be patient. And if I'm late...rez inc thanks.

6) If any Dots drop when hunting, I automatically get them so that if someone wants a symbol I have the component. Otherwise, if you want a symbol please open up my trade window with the correct component for the symbol that you want.

7) In addition, I'd like to ML at all times. If at the end of the session, I have more than enough to cover my weeks worth of Dot's then i'll toss out a split.

If there is a guild bank, and there should be or I rescind my application, I would like to be in charge of it. But without the baggage of the title of "Treasurer" which really understates my true stature within any guild.

9) Monks PLEASE announce when you are FD, so that I don't waste my time trying to rez you. That is sooo frickin annoying. I mean really, how hard is it to type "I am FD, do not rez".

10) Rangers, don't even get me started. They should be like my sister...seen and not heard. Seriously, I'd rather spend the mana to rez you then to heal you. You are to melle what a Druid is to healers. No offense though, I'll need you around for tracking and foraging and stuff. When you die, just automatically consent the MA and we'll drag you to our camp spot. It's just easier that way.

11) Speaking of rez, please don't send personal tells to me for a rez. There's just no way that me wasting my time is worth saving a little bit of your time. If a guildie needs a rez, please just put it in guild chat and someone will get to you. Just because im in bazaar doesn't mean I'm not busy. And just ask my last two guilds if you don't believe this, but if you call me out in chat then it's on.

12) No, you have not grouped with me before. I paid that $50 to move to this server last month, so it's very unlikely that you grouped with me in so and so Zone unless you played on Solusek Ro. This is also the reason that my equip is not that sweet yet, and the guild should help me out with some twinkage.

13) If you need a buff from me, please say my name first in the request so that I notice it. Also please write out the name of the spell instead of just the acronymn. If I'm taking the time to open my spell book, mem the spell, find you with the mouse, and cast the buff, and then un-mem the spell, the least you could do is type out the whole name so that it will help me find it faster.

14) And if you're not sure whether your gimpy HP buff will overwrite mine after i've already dropped a bunch of Dots and half a bar of my mana to cast, then freaking ask! Even better, don't cast until you know your class AND mine. Druids and Shammys i'm looking in your direction here.

15) Speaking of Druids and Shammys. I don't call my heals. I shouldn't have to cause no one else should be trying to be the Cleric but the Quan. If you think i'm interrupting my CH cause some druid is busting off gimp 3k CH's? No way...i'll still drop the big heal bomb. And then we're both out of mana.

16) I think since I'm the one keeping the puller alive when they bring back a baddy that they should show respect to me with their pull Hot Key. Example, I pull this for our great Lord ", or " has insulted the great one , lets KEEL it !!" And it would be cool if you could use it even if i'm not there. You know, just to spread the gospel and such. Helps with recruitment i bet.

17) Pally's please use your LoH everytime that it pops, it's called "saving the Quan's mana", remember it, do it, and respect it.

1 I'm still missing a lot of spells from level 58 to 62. The guild should really help me get as many as possible. Think about it, all of my spells help YOU, not me. If you want me to help you with the improved spells then YOU should be the one getting them for me. And I may not even use most of them...but i want them just the same.

19) I have a HOT key with my email addy on it. If the @#%$ hits the fan and I have to camp out to save my *** , I ALWAYS hit that hot key. When it's safe to come back, I expect someone in the group to let me know via email. If you don't then everyone in the group immediately becomes a new entry in my personal @#%$ list. I keep that @#%$ on excel and alphabetized, so don't even think you are getting in with a group with me again if your name is on that list. Why the hell do you think I moved servers? I was finding it near impossible to get a group without running into someone on my SL. If you think this is harsh, just think about me on the other side waiting for that email to come in so I can log back. Now that's HARSH!

We all know that most Clerics are the suck. Either they're Bots or some Druid who got pwnd when PoP came out cause he couldn't solo or find a group and PL'd himself a Cleric. MC's like me are hard to come by and that's the reason for the list. Believe me there are other guilds that have expressed interest and i really owe it to to be find the best situation in which to drop my skills.

I know most of the guilds I'm working with have an extensive application process and I respect the hell out of that. It's a good thing cause it keeps the ***clowns out. But we all know that there's a secret process for instant approvals that can be used for the right situation and i'm that situation. In the 3 weeks your guild dicks around "getting to know me", I'll already be rocking the high-end content with another guild. So work fast.

My main is a 62 cleric named "Quan". Cause that's what i want..."The Quan". I want the respect, I want the platinum, I want the excitement, and I want the Wood Elf Honies all on my tip. Yeah..."The Quan". Represent.

PS...Not necessary, but it would be sweet if the guild would float me some phat platz for a little loan, because I had to empty my bank account to pay that group to get through the PoJ trials. "

You can read Quan's views on all the classes at
http://pub21.ezboard.com/bquon91516

Here is his views on Shadowknights fromt he above link

Shadowknight - Not quite a Warrior and not quite a Necro. More often than not The Quon gets to group with the one who's gotten the Warriors brains and the Necros hp's. WTF? Transvestites have less of an identity crisis. Don't even try to play like you didn't choose a SK because you thought it had a "cool" name.
Every time The Quon sees a SK he wants to bust a cap in their ass. SK's should come in 12 packs cause they are about as useful as a busted condom once they've spent their HT load. The Quon could watch for the Harm Touch message and then be all like "NEXT!" and cycle those dozen candy asses through the group with mad haste. The 11 not in the group could entertain The Quon by /oocing words of amazement at eveything The Quon does..."Damn, The Quon can heal like a motha"..."Damn that's some good sitting", or making sure nothing is in The Quon's way when he trains the zone out.
Did you know that Knights have pets ? /boggle. That gimped animation has to /kneel before enchanter pets. I guess SOE gave them pity pets cause they knew a SK would never get a group. Seriously, have you ever seen a SK that didn't have LFG next to their name? For the longest time The Quon thought LFG was some kinda weird SK only guild. One of The Quon's favorite games is inviting a SK to the group, especially when he is somewhere remote like Sebilis and shit. They ALWAYS come, tails waggin and shit. When they finally arrive I'm like "dude, sorry, The Quon thought you were a warrior." After they calm down The Quon's all like "Do you have 11 friends?"

The Quon's healing strategy for ShadowKnights: If they fool The Quon and act like a Warrior they get The Big Heal Bomb. If at any time they do anything that clues The Quon in, it's Celestials all freakin night.
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[Astute]

Wow just wow..... is this a real app?

[Zargut]

Ahh the Quon, I grouped with him a few times on Lanys T'Vyl back in the day. He either swapped servers a lot or, more likely, had a quon on every server. HE was one funny guy and actually a pretty decent group cleric. Took his roleplaying in a whole new dircetion than everyone else.

LIked to talk in 3rd person a lot. "The Quon doesnt rez monks!" "The Quon is hungry, The Quon will be right back."

yup I remember this guy and used to wonder if he still played but I rememeber some time ago seeing he had finally quit. Theres a lotta history out there now since I started eq before kunark came out, whats it been like 13 years? LOL

http://westkarana.com/index.php/2008/09 ... ss-to-you/

http://www.therunes.net/forums/viewtopi ... =39&t=2124

[EggbornHatchedrotten]

too fun